One day at a time

Like everyone, as this pandemic continues, I have good days and bad days.  I've been having a tough week this week.  Missing my daughter, missing my extended family, missing my mom and dad, even though Daddy died more than twenty years ago and I lost Mom in December 2018.

Missing loved ones is part of loving.  Usually, I find ways to find joy even when I'm missing people, but some days it is harder than others to find that joy.

One of the places I go when I'm having a tough day is to my writing.  Often by creating a happy, loving event in one of my stories, I feel the comfort of being surrounded by loved ones.  For whatever reason, I'm also struggling to write this week.

As I'm trying to turn my mood around, I remembered something Sister Dorothy is quoted as saying in Blessings from the Past.  This is the passage:

“Hope is a contagion,” said Bee.  “That is one of Sister Dorothy’s favorite sayings.

She says that while people should know we are Christian’s by our love, they

should know we are disciples of Christ by our hope.”

While it can be hard to remain hopeful when there is so much uncertainty, I am blessed to remember that because of the Lord, I always have hope.

The hope that comes from faith in a loving God is not dependent on current events, or things being as we would like them to be. The hope that comes from faith in a loving God is a fortress against current events and disappointments.

I know that God loves me. I know He is with me. I know that whatever challenges will come my way, God will carry me through.

I believe that God wants me to tell my stories as a way to bring His love to people through fiction. When I take time like I am taking right now to remind myself of that, when I put myself in His hands, and ask Him to guide my writing, things always get better.

The hope that comes from faith in a loving God is constant. And for that I will always be grateful and blessed, and will always endeavor to find the joy that demonstrates that faith.

Trying something new

I sold a book last week, and that was the first sale in over a month.   My sales were never good, and I never really expected them to be.

My first book sold the most copies, I think a lot of friends and family purchased the book because of the novelty of having someone they know publish a book.

The second and third books sold less copies respectively, and the fourth book has only sold 6 copies and had 603 Kindle page reads.

I knew that this writing hobby of mine was never going to be a money maker, but I really wanted more people to read my books because I think they are uplifting stories that can help anyone see how they are important in making the world a better place.

So, this morning, I changed the header picture on my author page.  I pinned a promotional post to the top of the page.  I decided to use the rebate cards from my dogs' heart worm and flea medicine to buy Facebook ads.

The last time I tried Facebook ads, the only result I got was a rude comment from a stranger.  Hopefully, this time I'll get better results.

One of the things I've learned in life is that any time you put yourself out there, it can result in criticism and hurtful responses.

I'm okay with that.  I want people to read my books.  That in and of itself accepts that some people won't like them, and will be critical.  My only hope is that the criticism is useful, and helps me to grow as a writer and as a person.

Fingers crossed this new adventure yields positive results!

When we are all struggling

The days of stay at home orders can be long, and for many, can be hard.  Just about everyone I know is struggling in one way or another.

Some are struggling with finances, some with loneliness, some with juggling child care and work, some with missing family, some with worrying about loved ones in essential jobs, some with the grief of losing a loved one, some with just the overwhelming sadness of all of it.

I've been worried about everyone.  I've seen some things on social media that are laying heavy on my heart.  Sometimes when people share their struggles, instead of support they get criticism, or indifference.

Ms. Bessie Chauvin, one of the characters in my Bayou Beni series of books had this to say about suffering in "Blessings from the Past":

“I love you, Gilbert, but please, let me caution you against something. 

Suffering is suffering, it does no good to compare your suffering to others.

Just use your suffering to increase your empathy, and pray for God to give

you strength to never lose hope in the face of sorrow and struggle.”

I'd like to echo Ms. Bessie.  Please, when you hear or read that someone is struggling, limit your interaction to support.

Ask if you can help.  Offer understanding.  Offer encouragement.  Offer prayers.  

None of us can slip into someone else's body or mind and fully appreciate what they are experiencing.  What we can do is appreciate when they share their struggles that it is a plea for understanding and support.  We can provide that understanding.  We can provide that support.

We can lift each other up.  I promise, every time you take the time to lift someone up, you will be uplifted as well.

Let's all do our best to be helpers.  Let's all do our best to be the good for each other.  We'll all be better for it if we do.

You are not alone

I was listening to the radio this morning.  It was an interview with an intensive care nurse.  It was an incredibly emotional interview.  She shared how very difficult it is for patients to have to die without family or friends at their side.

I listened with tears rolling down my face.

Those of you who read my books know that I am a faith filled person who sees God in my life.   I feel His presence, and I believe He holds me in the palm of His hand.

I believe that no one dies alone.   I believe that God is with us.  I believe He holds us close as we go home to Him.

I believe that our family who have gone before us surround us and comfort us as we give up this life for the next.

I know many people are much more skeptical than I am about what happens when this human body no longer functions.

Everyone has a right to believe what they want to believe.

But I now have a vision fixed firmly in my brain of a room filled with my beloved, departed family, surrounding me as I join them on the other side.  I feel the warmth of God's love surrounding me.

And it comforts me greatly.  Not just for myself, but for all those souls who have been lost to this pandemic, and who took their last breaths without family or friends or even hospital staff by their side.

My faith tells me they were not alone.  And I will cling to that.

How do you want to be remembered?

One of the few certainties of life is that we are all going to die.

Mostly, death is an abstract thought that we don't give much time or attention to, until something provokes us.  The death of a loved one, the diagnosis of a terminal illness, an accident that we survive that could have had a totally different outcome.

Usually, this heightened sensitivity to our own death is felt by a small circle of our friends and family, who have shared in the event that provoked death as a topic of discussion.

The current pandemic invites all of us to think more deeply about death and dying.  From observing people through social media, it seems most people fall in one of three groups.  Group One is incredibly fearful for themselves and their families.  They feel certain that someone they know and love will die from complications of COVID-19.  Group Two is pragmatic.  This is something we have to be smart about, and have to live through, and if we all do what we're asked, we can minimize the toll on society.  Group Three are the deniers.  It isn't as bad as they are saying.  We are focusing on the death toll instead of the recovery toll.  We've ruined the economy for no good reason.

I feel sympathy with all three groups, and can understand how all of them got where they are and why they are committed to their position.  I also accept that many people are jumping from one group to another as data changes, and some people straddle two groups, and still other people don't fit in any of them.  I'm not trying to put anyone in a box, just communicating my observation.

What keeps returning to my mind as I read social media posts and comments is one simple question.   If I knew the post or comment I was making would be my last, would I still make it?  Is this thing I'm about to say how I want to be remembered?

Most of us have opinions and beliefs.  Most of us feel strongly about different things.  Most of us have the capacity to get very emotional about the things that are important to us.  And for most of us, social media has presented a platform where we are more willing to share opinions, beliefs, feelings and emotions that we may have been reluctant to share in person.

This is just my opinion, but I don't think all that sharing has been a good thing.  I still believe that asking oneself:  Is it true?  Is it kind?  Is it necessary? before sharing thoughts is important.

I see many of my friends trying to fill social media with good.  Family pictures, pet pictures, scenery, uplifting thoughts and music and poems.  And for all of that I am very grateful.  When I first used social media, that seems like all I ever saw.

When wanting to climb on a soapbox to air your passions meant dragging an actual soapbox to the village green, everyone who didn't want to hear your passions could just stay away from the village green.  Social media is the new village green, and I suppose we could just stay away from social media.  But I love seeing all the positive stuff, so I try to just scroll on by the rest.

It is rare that you will change anyone's mind with a post, a meme or a comment.  But it is unfortunately very easy to hurt someone's feelings, make someone feel less than, cause someone fear, cause someone to question whether or not you ever genuinely cared about them.

Knowing how easily the current virus is spreading, and knowing that we don't know who will get sick, and who will get very sick, and who will die; shouldn't we all be thinking more carefully about the impact of our words, spoken and written?

When I die, I want people to remember me as a person who cared about others.  I want people to remember me as a person who cared more about who you are than what you look like.  I want people to remember me as a person who made mistakes, but who tried hard to not hurt other people.

So I am trying to be very careful about what I post or how I comment on social media.  I know I will make mistakes.  But I don't want the last memory of me to be a sad, or an angry or a derisive one.

I am going to try to be intentional, and try to be light, not darkness.  I hope that many of you will try to do the same.  Love and light have never been more necessary.  And we all have the capacity to spread the love and be the light.