Fragility

All humans are fragile.  We are physically fragile at birth, and need protection and nurturing to survive.  Our fragility can appear to lessen as we go through life until we are very old, but in reality we are always fragile.

In many of the books I read, a person's fragility is exploited, simply because they don't have a support system in place that offers them the opportunity to admit to their own fragility.

The world I have created in my books is full of people who are always aware of how fragile we are, and how much we need community to thrive.

One of my main characters, Belinda (Bee) Collins, had a psychotic break while in college, and spent time in the hospital on her road to recovery.  Another, Prescott Bourgeois, suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after serving in the army in Vietnam.  Marie Theriot is a domestic violence survivor.

Each of these characters took a different path to a fulfilling life.  They all struggled, and continue to struggle at times through the challenges their lives present.  But all of them are surrounded by supportive community, and all actively work to help others who are struggling.

The gift our fragility gives us is empathy.  For all of us who have been broken at one time or another, we can be honest about our brokenness, and give others permission to share their brokenness with us.

All humans are fragile.  We need community to survive and thrive in a difficult and challenging world.  I can't fix the problems in the real world, but my imaginary community of Bayou Beni can provide a respite from reality, and a blue print for how to live openly and lovingly in a world where fragility is recognized and embraced.

A soft heart

I purchased a greeting card last week, because I love what it says:  "We are all impressionable when our cement is still wet" open card "You left your mark on me".  (Purchased from Joshua Lee Studio. Wonderful photographer check out his work.)

I bought one card, but there are so many people I want to send it to.  Maybe I should buy a box of them.  As I thought about all the people I want to send it to, I realized my cement is still wet.  And I hope it never dries.

To me, wet cement is a metaphor for a soft heart.  A heart that is open to learning, a heart that is changed by love.  Each and every person that I have allowed myself to love, and who has loved me have left a mark on me.  I am more tolerant because of my soft heart.  I am more forgiving because of my soft heart.  I ache with sorrow because of my soft heart.  I shed bitter tears because of my soft heart.  But I pray that it never hardens.

I believe life on earth is a journey back to our Creator.  We are here on earth for a blink in time, and what does that mean?  I want my time here to be as full as it can possibly be.  And that means relationships and people.  It means allowing my soft heart to be bruised and healed time and time again.  It means allowing my soft heart to feel as if it is so full it will break, and also so empty it will collapse.

The best use I can make of my time on earth is to love as unconditionally as I can.  Sometimes, the only way to express that love is through prayer.  Sometimes it is through works.  Sometimes it is through sacrifice.  

But if I can try as hard as I can to be guided by love, by that soft, bruised and damaged heart, I can change the world.  I believe all the love and positive energy we put in the world lasts long after we are gone. 

Love is a legacy.  The memories of the love you shared will last.  The example you can set of unrelenting love can inspire.

Keep your cement wet, my friends.  It is the only way your footprints will endure.

Extending Grace

In the Christian tradition, grace is a spontaneous gift from God.  Grace is the generous charity that forgives the sinner, grace is the empty seat at God's table always waiting for us, with no question of worthiness.

Grace, in the human sense, is defined as courteous goodwill.  This is the grace I am talking about.

How do we go about extending grace to others?  It is extremely simple, and terribly difficult all at the same time.  The acts are simple, the emotional discipline difficult.

What are physical ways to extend grace?  That meme that offends you?  Just keep scrolling without comment.  A family member says something thoughtless?  Let it go.   A car cuts you off in traffic?  Say a prayer that the person pays better attention so that they don't get in an accident.

The cashier or person bagging groceries is slow?  Say a prayer while you wait patiently.  An older person is in your way?  Take deep breaths and be thankful you can still move fast.

It is so easy to get caught up in the supposedly necessary fast pace of modern life.  But where are we all going?  This life always ends in death.  Between birth and death we can hurry, and be aggravated, and decide people have all kinds of devious and unkind motivations, or, we can slow down, take our time, and extend grace.

What you did or didn't do on any given day is unlikely to become part of recorded history for future generations to study.  But the people in your world will benefit today and every day you extend grace to them.

Catholic means universal

I was taught from my earliest memory that Catholic means universal.  The Catholic Church that I grew up and made the sacraments in embraced that idea.  We were taught to be tolerant, and loving.  We were taught that part of our Christian duty was to evangelize, but we were not encouraged to denigrate or denounce other religions.

Religions were made by man to help us understand and deepen our relationship with God.  I believe in a God of love, and because of that, my religious belief system is rooted in love.  That prevents me from criticizing any religion or religious practice based in love.  I believe we are all children of God.  I believe that whatever helps anyone become closer to God, anything that helps anyone hear and understand God's messages to them, if that message is of love, is fine.

My books are very much steeped in Catholicism.  I've always been told to write what you know, and being Catholic is what I know.  But I try in my books to embrace that bigger meaning of Catholic.  I try to visit universal elements of our humanity.  Our love of family.  Our distress when we see injustice.  Our comfort in community.  Our endless capacity for good words and good works.

The world is very scary right now.  We have been enduring a pandemic for two years.  There is war raging in Ukraine.  There are humanitarian crises in The Democratic Republic of the Congo, Afghanistan, Yemen, Sudan, Syria, South Sudan and Somalia; to name the most prominent.

Hunger and poverty continue to plague many in our world.  Human rights violations persist around the world.  It can all be overwhelming.

The most we can do, and the least we can do, is love.  Love those we don't know and pray for them.   Love those we do know despite disagreements.  The universal good we can do is to act with love at all times.  Bite back the unkind words.  Don't post the unkind meme.  Resist the argument.

The only thing we can really control is our response.  Start a tide of loving response with your words and actions.  Challenge the people in your world to do the same.  And pray.  Both for an end to suffering and war, and for an increase in love.