Pete kept folding and unfolding a napkin, staring into space, when suddenly Clancy reached over and snapped his fingers right in front of Pete’s face.
“What’s on your mind, little brother? Something has been bothering you all day? You want to talk about it?”
Pete put down the napkin and took a sip of his coffee.
“Yes and no, Bro. I want advice, but I hate have to admit to you that I’ve been an ass.”
“Whoa! What did you do? You’re usually a pretty level, nice kind of guy, even though I hate to puff you up.”
“It’s Cassidy, Bro. She was all excited because Bessie’s nephew Gil was able to get better rehabilitation tools for her. It was ‘Gil this’ and ‘Gil that’ every time I talked to her. I started feeling insecure and jealous, and gave Cass the cold shoulder for a few days. I went to talk to Mom and Dad on Wednesday, and Mom raked me over the coals for being immature, and Dad told me Uncle Vinnie just about ruined his marriage with jealousy. So, I apologized to Cassidy and explained what had happened, and she told me that maybe we should cool things off, as she didn’t want to be jerked around because I can’t handle my emotions maturely.”
“Man, that sucks, Pete. I know you really like Cassidy.”
“So, she didn’t totally throw me under the bus, she said we could be friends and we’ll see if I can manage to not be a jerk. I don’t want to be a jerk. But this jealousy thing is crazy. I never felt like this. Did you and Rosadel ever have a problem with jealousy? How did you handle it?”
“Pete, me and Rosadel have been together since we were kids, and I was half in love with her before we ever dated. I’m not even sure how to answer your question. Did it suck when I had to go away to college and leave her here? Yes. Did I give her Roscoe so that any new ‘friends’ would ask about her dog and she would have to say he was a gift from her boyfriend? Yes. Did it drive me nuts that her Advanced Biology lab partner senior year was Trent Guidry, who happened to be the quarterback of the football team and headed to LSU as a pre-med major? Yes. Was it worse when every other phone call was ‘Trent this’ and ‘Trent that’? Oh My God, Yes. But while all that left me feeling insecure, I already really loved Rosadel. As much as I couldn’t imagine my life without her, if she would have been happy with someone else I would have stepped aside. It might have killed me, but I love her that much.”
“I think I could love Cassidy that much, Clancy, but I’m afraid of getting hurt.”
“You know, Pete, Mom and Dad and Angus all were pretty freaked out when me and Rosadel got serious so fast. They all thought we were too young. Well, the good thing about being so young is being so sure that everything will be rainbows and puppies. We grew up together. So I understand you are scared, but I can’t really empathize, because me and Rosadel were too young to be cautious. Hence the triplets in the other room.”
“Did Rosadel ever get jealous? Or is that something that just never happened in your relationship?”
“Wait a minute. I guess I didn’t explain myself well enough. Of course, there were times I was jealous, I just never acted on that jealousy in a way that negatively impacted Rosadel. Every time I got jealous, I rededicated myself to being the very best man I could be for Rosadel. I turned the insecurity and anger into purpose. I would be the best thing that could ever happen in her life, no matter if she turned away from that or not. A kid’s thinking, a kid’s confidence, but it got us through.”
“One time Bee Collins was dating a guy who was super jealous, he even resented the time that Bee spent with Rosadel. Rosie asked me why I never got jealous. It was almost like she felt that I couldn’t really love her if I didn’t get jealous. So, I told her the truth. I told her that I loved her so much that her happiness was the most important thing to me, and if her being happy didn’t include me, I loved her enough to let her go. I told her what I just told you, that every time I felt jealous, I would use that emotion to be a better person, so I could be a better partner. She was real quiet for a few minutes, and then she threw her arms around me and kissed the daylights out of me. I asked her ‘What was that for?’ and she said, ‘Because I love you that much too!’. And that is the only conversation I can recall in our fourteen years together on the subject.”
“Thanks, Clancy. You’ve really given me a lot to think about. I’m going to be thirty this year, and I never even thought about falling in love before. I’ve been happy to go out and have fun. I’ve had girlfriends, but I think both of us always knew that the relationships weren’t going anywhere, we just hung out and had fun till we both moved on. I had an ‘Ah-Ha’ moment while you were talking. If I want a long term relationship with Cassidy, I have to focus on her, and on the relationship, not on me.”
“Pete, if Cassidy is the right one for you, now that you’ve identified what you need to work on, it should be easy. I’m not saying it won’t take work, because relationships, even the best ones, take work. But if you feel for Cassidy what I feel for Rosadel when I hold her in my arms, no amount of work is too much to enjoy that feeling for the rest of your life.”
No comments:
Post a Comment